It was about a month from my due date and my hubby and I head to the hospital for a check up and to meet our delivery doctor. Unfortunately, she got called into emergency surgery but we met another very nice doctor who talked to us about our wishes for labor (Switzerland is awesome in this regard. You can basically do whatever you want!), who to call when labor begins, where to go and on and on. My hubby pops in and out for a few work calls (typical) and returns to ask some pointed questions about when our little babe will arrive.
Husband: So, most first babies are born after their due date, right?
Doctor: Some are yes, but there is no way to know.
Husband: But if she went into labor right now you could stop it right?
Doctor: The baby is full term so we wouldn't stop labor at this point.
Husband: Well, first births typically take longer, right? So if I'm out of the country (within Europe) I'll have time to fly back and make the birth.
Doctor: First babies typically take longer but I delivered a first baby the other day and the woman was only in labor for 3 hours. There is just no way to know.
I could see the panic set in. This big belly of mine could potentially produce a baby any time now but my hubby still had a week long trip planned for work. Me giving birth alone in a country where we've lived for 8 weeks was just not an option. So, after much discussion, my husband called his mom and asked her to come stay and babysit me for 10 days so he could meet his work responsibilities and know that I would be taken care of. And let me tell you, this woman has taken care of me!
She arrived last Friday morning and immediately got to work in the house. She unpacked box after box after box until yesterday afternoon the boxes were no more. She spent last night hemming curtains that were unfinished and I awoke this morning to her loading the elevator with boxes that needed to go down to our storage room. She has cooked dinner every night and a dirty dish has not sat in the sink for longer than 2 minutes.
The help has been truly amazing. There was no way what my head wanted to get done and what my body could actually do was going to happen but now it's a possibility and for this I am truly, truly thankful. But more than that, I have really enjoyed her company. This is a woman who has lived a life much like mine is turning out to be. She gave up her career and left all of her friends so her husband could be successful then made the best life for herself and her family while doing so. It is a complicated journey that is judged by some. It can be filled with the deepest loneliness and the greatest fulfillment one can experience all at the same time. We began working at 9am yesterday and talked and talked and talked until suddenly we realized it was 3pm and we should eat some lunch! I have so much enjoyed hearing about her life and it gives me perspective on where my husband came from and maybe some insights into my own future.
Her visit has been a true blessing and I can actually take a deep breath and say "ok baby, you are allowed to born anytime after your dad gets home next Tuesday. We are ready for you."
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Trying to Keep Baby -- and other things -- Off the Brain
I know -- this is a very exciting time in one's life. We are 20 days away from the birth of our little bundle of joy and when I think about it I can hardly sit still from all the excitement. This little babe will change everything we've thought of the world up till now and I can't wait for all of the happiness, frustration, delight and sleep deprivation he will bring.
These are great thoughts to be having and 20 days away from the babe, I should be having them but this past week was overwhelming in a way I'd never experienced. Moving threw a huge wrench in my "yay we're having a baby" story. When the hubby first approached me about moving I took all the usual factors into consideration. Yes, I would be 8 months pregnant but what that actually meant in terms of moving I had no idea. WELL, when the 700 boxes arrived on our doorstep on Monday I thought I was going to die! It's not nice to do that to a pregnant lady who is nesting and needs a clean, organized environment to do things like wash baby clothes and sterilize baby toys.
I immediately began unpacking. I was on a roll until Thursday when I hit a wall at 100 miles per hour. My mind and body would not let me go on. Completely shutting out the reality of my situation was the only option. So, I took 3 naps, skyped with my family and snacked all day in bed (side note: I'm sure there are women who have done this pregnant AND have jobs so I realize the luxury of my situation most days but still...). It was this day I realized I am not a superhuman pregnant lady, I can't do it all and some things will just have to wait until the following day, week, or whenever we get to it.
So, this is a lesson in "one thought at a time" for me (forget one day at a time). If I think about how soon the baby is coming, I freak out and feel like I need to finish his room right this minute!!! This is when taking deep breaths and letting myself know it will all get done is the only thing I can do. I need to think no other thought than "it will all get done, it will all get done" and focus on the one task in front of me at any given moment because it will all get done and when it does I will have baby on the brain 100% of the time and it will be great! The end is in sight... :-)
These are great thoughts to be having and 20 days away from the babe, I should be having them but this past week was overwhelming in a way I'd never experienced. Moving threw a huge wrench in my "yay we're having a baby" story. When the hubby first approached me about moving I took all the usual factors into consideration. Yes, I would be 8 months pregnant but what that actually meant in terms of moving I had no idea. WELL, when the 700 boxes arrived on our doorstep on Monday I thought I was going to die! It's not nice to do that to a pregnant lady who is nesting and needs a clean, organized environment to do things like wash baby clothes and sterilize baby toys.
I immediately began unpacking. I was on a roll until Thursday when I hit a wall at 100 miles per hour. My mind and body would not let me go on. Completely shutting out the reality of my situation was the only option. So, I took 3 naps, skyped with my family and snacked all day in bed (side note: I'm sure there are women who have done this pregnant AND have jobs so I realize the luxury of my situation most days but still...). It was this day I realized I am not a superhuman pregnant lady, I can't do it all and some things will just have to wait until the following day, week, or whenever we get to it.
So, this is a lesson in "one thought at a time" for me (forget one day at a time). If I think about how soon the baby is coming, I freak out and feel like I need to finish his room right this minute!!! This is when taking deep breaths and letting myself know it will all get done is the only thing I can do. I need to think no other thought than "it will all get done, it will all get done" and focus on the one task in front of me at any given moment because it will all get done and when it does I will have baby on the brain 100% of the time and it will be great! The end is in sight... :-)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Swiss Way
We've been in Switzerland now for about 7 weeks. It's been rather interesting as an American who lived in a bustling city in Asia of 4 million people and now coming to a small city of 100,000 people in Europe. At first glance, things seem more familiar here than in Asia. For example, grocery stores sell familiar products (not American brands but western type food) and a department store is exactly what you would see if you were walking into Macys (in Singapore you never knew what you would find in various stores and malls). So, when we initially arrived it was less of a cultural shock for me. I kind of understood what was going on (minus the fact that everything is in German, small detail).
The more days I spend here the more I realize a lot of things may look similar to what I know about living in a Western cultural but things are drastically different than what I am used to. Here are a few examples:
1. EVERYTHING closes on Sunday. You can find some restaurants that remain open for limited hours and a small grocery store at the train station but other than that the city shuts down. Sunday is considered a non-working day so you're not even supposed to do anything in your house that would alert your neighbors to the fact that you are indeed working like wash your windows, vacuum or do laundry. Even the largest stores, like IKEA, are closed. For a family coming from places that were open 24/7 and relying mostly on the weekends to get things done, this has been a challenge. Our Saturdays have been filled with errands from morning to night and we've had to be extremely organized about taking full advantage of those hours which the stores are open.
2. Taking breaks and time out for lunch is extremely important. The majority of places close down from 12pm - 2pm so workers can take their lunch. This includes grocery stores, dry cleaners and the post office. Then they close around 4:30pm (except certain grocery stores might stay open until 7 or 8pm). It's really amazing. This was especially evident with the movers over the past 2 days in our home. About every 50 minutes the house would get very quiet and I wondered where they were. I then realized they were on a break. After being in the house for 2 hours, they all took a 40 minute break followed by a very leisurely lunch. It drove me a little nuts (being 9 months pregnant and all) but I had to realize this is very much a part of their culture. There is no point in stressing yourself out because there is always more time tomorrow. Very unAmerican and unAsian culturally speaking.
3. Getting someone to come to your house and do work (no matter what type) takes weeks and is ultra expensive!!! There is no "we'll be there tomorrow." It's all "I have an opening 2 weeks from now." Really??? And any kind of labor is very, very expensive. A housecleaner makes $35 an hour plus vacation and sick leave (at the expense of the employer). Waiters make the same thing so customer service is not an issue. They are not there to make tips. If you eat there or not, they still make their money. And dry cleaning? It costs at least $12 for a pair of pants and $7 to launder a shirt and it takes over a week to get your clothes.
4. Please indulge me for a minute while I go on a small rant. NO houses come with closets or light fixtures. Our house in Austin has beautiful closets in each room. Our apartment in Singapore had beautiful closets as well. Lots of shelves to store things and lots of room to hang up your clothes. Our beautiful apartment here, no closets. Not one. So we decide we will buy some closets from IKEA because when we move home we will not need to take these with us. First, they make you pull these massive boxes off the shelves yourself (can you imagine? Me as pregnant as can be and my poor husband lifting these things all by himself). Then, they charge you 10% to deliver the thing and if you'd like someone to put them together, you have to pay $65 an hour per worker with a minimum of 2 workers. This all seemed very outrageous to me. We put together the closets ourselves and it was a massive, massive project (that is not done yet. ugh). In Singapore, if you bought furniture from IKEA they pulled it off the shelves for you and you paid 5% for delivery and assembly. Such a difference.
So...those are just some of the differences between the Swiss way and the American and Asian way. I'm sure many more will pop up the longer we live here and I hope we're here for a longer stay because darn it, those closets were expensive and hard to put together and we'd like to enjoy them! :-)
The more days I spend here the more I realize a lot of things may look similar to what I know about living in a Western cultural but things are drastically different than what I am used to. Here are a few examples:
1. EVERYTHING closes on Sunday. You can find some restaurants that remain open for limited hours and a small grocery store at the train station but other than that the city shuts down. Sunday is considered a non-working day so you're not even supposed to do anything in your house that would alert your neighbors to the fact that you are indeed working like wash your windows, vacuum or do laundry. Even the largest stores, like IKEA, are closed. For a family coming from places that were open 24/7 and relying mostly on the weekends to get things done, this has been a challenge. Our Saturdays have been filled with errands from morning to night and we've had to be extremely organized about taking full advantage of those hours which the stores are open.
2. Taking breaks and time out for lunch is extremely important. The majority of places close down from 12pm - 2pm so workers can take their lunch. This includes grocery stores, dry cleaners and the post office. Then they close around 4:30pm (except certain grocery stores might stay open until 7 or 8pm). It's really amazing. This was especially evident with the movers over the past 2 days in our home. About every 50 minutes the house would get very quiet and I wondered where they were. I then realized they were on a break. After being in the house for 2 hours, they all took a 40 minute break followed by a very leisurely lunch. It drove me a little nuts (being 9 months pregnant and all) but I had to realize this is very much a part of their culture. There is no point in stressing yourself out because there is always more time tomorrow. Very unAmerican and unAsian culturally speaking.
3. Getting someone to come to your house and do work (no matter what type) takes weeks and is ultra expensive!!! There is no "we'll be there tomorrow." It's all "I have an opening 2 weeks from now." Really??? And any kind of labor is very, very expensive. A housecleaner makes $35 an hour plus vacation and sick leave (at the expense of the employer). Waiters make the same thing so customer service is not an issue. They are not there to make tips. If you eat there or not, they still make their money. And dry cleaning? It costs at least $12 for a pair of pants and $7 to launder a shirt and it takes over a week to get your clothes.
4. Please indulge me for a minute while I go on a small rant. NO houses come with closets or light fixtures. Our house in Austin has beautiful closets in each room. Our apartment in Singapore had beautiful closets as well. Lots of shelves to store things and lots of room to hang up your clothes. Our beautiful apartment here, no closets. Not one. So we decide we will buy some closets from IKEA because when we move home we will not need to take these with us. First, they make you pull these massive boxes off the shelves yourself (can you imagine? Me as pregnant as can be and my poor husband lifting these things all by himself). Then, they charge you 10% to deliver the thing and if you'd like someone to put them together, you have to pay $65 an hour per worker with a minimum of 2 workers. This all seemed very outrageous to me. We put together the closets ourselves and it was a massive, massive project (that is not done yet. ugh). In Singapore, if you bought furniture from IKEA they pulled it off the shelves for you and you paid 5% for delivery and assembly. Such a difference.
So...those are just some of the differences between the Swiss way and the American and Asian way. I'm sure many more will pop up the longer we live here and I hope we're here for a longer stay because darn it, those closets were expensive and hard to put together and we'd like to enjoy them! :-)
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